I know very little about women.
It sounds like an understatement, because really, what man really knows women well? I have a feeling that many men are like me: completely dumbfounded and ignorant in regards to understanding women.
For years before I met Kathryn, I tried my hardest. I questioned certain things that I saw women doing and saying, whether it be in movies, TV shows, or real life. As men, we don’t get it. We’re not sure why women constantly think they’re fat. We don’t understand the need for 5 different handbags. And we really don’t see the emotional downward-spiral over a woman’s frustration at “not having anything to wear.”
With all this consternation over knowing just the right words to say and right things to do, we get tired. Frustrated. To the point we sometimes just give up.
That’s what I did a little over 6 years ago. I had it with women. Too confusing, too indecisive. I figured being a bachelor the rest of my life wasn’t so bad. Remind you, I was all of 19 years old making such declarations.
And it seems at times in our lives when we quit striving so hard and just let God take control that certain blessings fall into place. Not all the time. I’m still waiting on my six-figure income and my two story brick house. But God blessed me with something far greater than any salary or house or car could give me. He blessed me with Kathryn.
It was the most unlikely of circumstances, but one night in December of 2001, over cheap Waffle House coffee, I got to know the most incredible woman in the world.
We went on our first official date Jan. 12, 2002. We went bowling with friends, then went to the beach where we stayed up and watched the sunrise. How many first dates are that awesome? Few. And it wasn’t a week later when I realized that Kathryn would be my wife. In a journal excerpt from Jan. 19, 2002, this is what I wrote…
“I know who you are. You’re amazing. You’re beautiful. You’re breathtaking. I love every moment I spend with you. I can’t wait to see you the next day. We’ve only known each other for a little over a month, but somehow, I know. It’s your eyes. Your smile. Your fingernails. The way you speak so softly and the way you hold me so tightly. The way your hand fits into mine. The sweetness of your lips. You’re the one. I know this to be true. You’re perfect to me.”
Alas, we got engaged on our 6 month anniversary (July 12, 2002) and exactly a year later, we were married. Last week, we got to celebrate our 4th anniversary together. Of course, we look forward to many, many more.
The best thing is that while I cannot admit to knowing much more about women than I did 6 years ago, I know Kathryn. I know surprise flowers make her smile. I know she loves cheap cappuccinos and Tootsie Rolls. I know it takes her forever to get ready. I know she looks incredible when she’s done. I know her fears, hopes, insecurities, and passions. I know her love for animals. I know for her, cleanliness IS the next thing to godliness. I know she loves vegetables, hates to cook, and exercises more patience with me than anyone ever should have to.
I treasure in knowing her. I love the fact that no one in this world will ever know my wife like I do. That’s God’s design for marriage. That’s how it’s supposed to work. We share secrets. We share embarrassments. We laugh over stupid fights, and cry over hurtful ones. We kiss, hug, flirt, and wrestle. We’re in love. I don’t have to read any books or watch any TV shows to understand that.
I don’t know much about all women, but I know a lot about one. My woman. And that’s all that matters to me.
9 years ago